{Bridesmaid Chronicles} Bridesmaid Problems

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
I’m a bridesmaid and maid-of-honor in two upcoming weddings and Buzzfeed was speaking to me today with its article, 17 Of The Most Devastating #BridesmaidProblems.
Today’s post is going to be a little bit of a vent session! Sure it can be frustrating and difficult being a bride (I know, trust me) but it is very challenging being a bridesmaid, especially while being a bride!!!!  My pet peeve today is financing and fun sucking, as a result of a general lack of consideration for your wedding party.

I don’t want to spend my paycheck on your special day --Dresses cost money, travel cost money, hair and make-up cost money, bachelorette festivities cost money,  parties and gifts cost money! There is a price being put on our relationship and its high $$$$$ This hits home even more for me because damnit I’m getting married too, so dropping hundreds of dollars when I’m already spending thousands is just a bit difficult. But I love you, so I vent in this blog and not to your face! And thank you for doing the same for me :)

Supervisors of Fun Sucking -- we get it, we all know that planning a wedding is stressful but don’t get so bridezilla that you take all the fun out of the experience for your bridal party! PLEASE, stay in your lane as a bride, seriously. Let us handle what is appropriate, ask for help when you need it and don’t let your stress build up because it makes you cranky!  We all want you to have a special and memorable day. Girls just want to have FUN... so if you trust us to be your bridesmaids then trust that we can handle the responsibilities that come along with that!  I’m talking to you brides!  Some of my own recent experiences have inspired me to develop some tips brides can do to minimize the drama and stress for bridesmaids (and themselves).

1.       Trust your friends – if you think highly enough of us to ask us to be a part of your wedding, trust that we have your best interest at heart when we say yes. Trust that we can throw you a bachelorette party and bridal shower and help you have fun. Trust us with helping you, let us help you! “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” – George MacDonald

2.      Don’t create competition – you shouldn’t pit your bridal party against each other. Nobody should be picking up the slack for someone else. Don’t ask more than one person to handle tasks or create situations where bridesmaids are at each other’s throats or gossiping to the detriment of your big day.  It’s about you and for the most part we will come together to make you happy so don’t add fuel to the fire unnecessarily.  Refer to tip #1

3.      Remember the world only revolves around you for one day – it is important to remember that after the wedding is over and all is said and done you will still have relationships with your bridal party. What you do, say, and request has impact. So be kind and understanding of what other people have going on.

4.      Relax (Find Balance) – don’t be a bridezilla 24/7 take a break from it every now and again, have some non-wedding obsessed fun with your bridesmaids.  

5.      Communicate – communicate information your needs, wants, and dresses!  If that means Groupme messages, a newsletter, or goggle hangouts just do it. Make sure people know what they need to in a timely way so they can adequately prepare.

6.      Don’t micromanage your bridal party – we are all adults here, yes some of us are more difficult than others but if you give directive trust us to adhere. For those that you can’t trust to follow your request, perhaps you should reconsider their role.  For the record, the bachelorette party is not planned by you, let your bridal party handle it! They want you to have a good time in a way affordable for all parties, so just show up! Refer to tip #1

7.      Say Thank You – remember that your friends are committing time to your wedding,  sacrificing funds, taking time off work, throwing you parties, and still buying you multiple gifts (showers and wedding presents) a simple thank you can go a long way!

Follow my bridesmaid journey via my previous posts: Destination Bachelorette Party , Say Yes to the Dress & Situation Report


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